The Happy Ship
by KittyLuffy
Summary: Usopp is twenty-one and is a father. Merry, the little ship we all love, is his son! See how their lives sail in this OP AU! This is my first Fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, but I wish I did!

Summary: Usopp is the father of Merry. Yes, Merry as in the coolest ship EVER! This is the story of their life! One Piece AU!  
Chapter 1: Merry is told a bedtime story. This is just a opener of sorts.

KittyLuffy: Hello! This is my first Fanfic ever and I tried hard on this first chapter. 0_0 I would also like to say that One Piece is totally Awesome!   
Nami: Oh, hello. Where am I?  
KittyLuffy: Oh My Gosh, IT'S NAMI! *Grabs Nami's hand and shakes* Hello Nami!  
Nami: Who are you?!  
KittyLuffy: Just a random girl who loves One Piece!  
Nami: What? You've found One Piece? *Ties KittyLuffy up*  
KittyLuffy: What have I done?! Well, please enjoy reading about Usopp and Merry!

Chapter 1. The Bedtime Story of Merry

_Once upon a time, there was a brave guy named Captain Usopp that lived in a small village in the East Blue. He always liked going through his town every morning, shouting, "The pirates are coming! The pirates are coming!" just to make everyone angry. He also liked visiting the girl, Kaya, who he had a crush on, everyday to tell her wild tales of his awesome travels._

_One day, though, there was a terrible happening in the village. Kaya's servant, Klahadore, was actually a pirate captain named Captain Kuro! Kuro wanted Kaya's money and had been planning to attack the village for three years. Captain Usopp rushed to tell everyone that pirates were actually coming, but no one believed him. So, with his small army of six, Captain Usopp defeated Kuro's pirate crew and saved the village without any of the villagers finding out that there had really been any pirates._

_Captain Usopp decided it would be best to leave his village with the older half of his crew: a stupid boy in a straw hat, a grouchy green haired guy with three swords, and a sharp-tongued lady who liked money too much. The stupid boy in the straw hat kept insisting he was captain, but Captain Usopp was just too brave and manly compared to him. This captain asked Kaya for a ship, since she was richer than he. She said yes and the Pirate Crew of four waited for a few days for a ship from Kaya._

_One morning, while the four were eating, Kaya said it was ready. The four got up and followed Kaya to her house, anxious to see what type of ship they would be getting. But the smart Captain Usopp was confused to why they were going to Kaya's house instead of the dock and asked her so as they entered. She didn't answer and only led the four to her room._

_Going over to her bed, she picked up a bundle of blankets and held it out to Captain Usopp. The brave Captain took the thing in blankets cautiously and found it to be a baby! Shocked beyond compare, Usopp looked at the child who couldn't be more than a few weeks old. It had fine white hairs starting to grow atop its head and dark skin the color of wet sand._

"_This," he said to Kaya, "is a baby, not a ship."_

"_His name is Merry," Kaya said._

"_But," the captain continued, "He is not a ship."_

"_Well, off you go," Kaya said, pushing them all out of the room, out of the house, out off the property and down to the dock where a small boat waited. Shoving the four in the boat Captain Usopp's crew had originally come in, she untied it from the dock and cast it off into the waves, waving good-bye and calling, "Take good care of Merry!"_

_Captain Usopp was stumped, but he promised Kaya that Merry would become as great a warrior of the sea as himself._

_----------_

"Daddy, is that really how I came to be with you?"

"Y-Yeah, Daddy would never lie to you, Merry."

"Of course it's not!" Usopp was hit over the head with a fist owned by the sharp-tongued lady who liked money too much. Nami was her name and she flipped a slightly longer section of her orange bangs with an unhappy sigh. "You just don't know when to stop lying, do you, Usopp?"

Usopp was fingering the growing bump on his head. "Well, it was sorta true."

"SORTA TRUE?! IT WAS TOTALLY A LIE!" Usopp and Merry both sweat-dropped as Nami had a fit. Once she had calmed down, she said in a dejected voice, "I own this apartment complex. I don't have you guys pay that much. I even come and watch Merry or make dinner two or three times a week. Why do you make me so angry when I'm doing so much good for you two?"

"Nami," Usopp said with a grimace at her scene, "you do make us pay a lot."

"YEAH, A LOT LESS!"

"Sumimasennnnnn…" Usopp apologized after he was hit on the head again. "Okay, Merry, time for bed."

"Awwww, really? Already Daddy? Can't Nami read me one more book or something?" Merry was five and knew how to use the cute factor to get what he wanted. Usopp ruffled his son's white mop of hair and shook his head.

"You need to go to sleep. You do know you start school tomorrow, right?"

"I know, I know," grumbled Merry, hopping into his twin-sized bed. Usopp went to turn off the light while Nami turned on the child's nightlight. "Goodnight," Merry called as the adults left the room.

"Goodnight," they whispered with smiles, shutting the door as they walked out into the small hallway of the apartment. The smiles came off immediately and the two stared at each other. Usopp decided to start the argument.

"You actually expected me to tell him where he actually came from?"

"In which sense? The mother sense or the origin sense?"

"The origin sense. You think I wanna tell my son that, when I was seventeen, I found him in a box next to a dumpster on my way home from a bar I was too young to be going to? Should I have told him that I was drunk and decided to take him home only because it was raining? Did you want me to say that I never wanted him, but the note that came with him said, "Finders Keepers, You're a Loser"?" Nami shook her head.

"No, no, no! All I was saying was that you shouldn't fill his head with such fantasies; it'll be bad for him when he enters school."

"He did fine in preschool."

"Well, let's just hope for the best." Usopp had been putting on his coat, readying for a tough night job.

"I'm off," he said to Nami, "Thanks for watching over Merry for me every night." Nami gave a little laugh. The argument was over.

"Sometimes, I wonder why I married that blonde pervert, I almost always end up sleeping on your couch nowadays." They both gave quiet laughs and Usopp left, closing the apartment door softly behind him.

Nami sighed, taking a scrunchie from her wrist and putting her hair in a too-short ponytail. She grabbed the magazine she had brought and sat down on the couch in the small living room with a blanket wrapped around her. She read until she fell asleep without turning off the tableside lamp.

Merry, who still lay awake even though the digital clock on his small bedside table read 10:09 PM, got up when he heard the rhythmic breaths of his aunt figure. He went down the small hall and over to her place at the couch. Merry took Nami's magazine and put it on the coffee table right in front of the couch. Then he put the pillow he had brought from his bed under her head. He straightened out her blanket and then nodded, approving his work. He then turned off the lamp and headed back to bed in the dark. He hopped back under the covers and fell asleep, his nightly job completed.

------------------------- 0_0

KittyLuffy: I had fun with this! Please Review and whatever! Chapter two coming if people want it!  
Nami: That first chapter was pretty cute. I'm in it too… So, tell me, where is One Piece?!  
KittyLuffy: Oh no!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, it's too epic for me.

Summary of Chapter 2: Usopp has to work his Wednesday-Thursday night shift. Can he get through it?

KittyLuffy: Hi peoples! It's the second chapter! I'd clap for myself, but I'm still tied up...  
Nami: And she still hasn't told me where One Piece is located!  
KittyLuffy: *Sob* I told you I don't know!  
Nami: Are you sure?  
KittyLuffy: Yeah... I think.  
Nami: Ah! You said "I think"! That means you do know!  
KittyLuffy: *shakes head furiously* Noooooo!  
Nami: Wait here, I'm getting backup! *leaves, slamming the door behind her*  
KittyLuffy: Please enjoy this really boring chapter! I think it's funny though...

Chapter 2. The Night Job is a Must-Have

Usopp had to walk to all three of his jobs because he couldn't afford buying or even renting a car. He couldn't even pay for a taxi anymore, not that he'd ever gotten to. He had his main day job he went to everyday and two totally different night jobs that he worked in two-day block shifts. Today was Wednesday, so for the next two days he would be watching over the city's biggest bank company building, the Grand City Bank, as a security guard.

Usopp had always wondered why he had chosen such a job, since he definitely wasn't brave or strong enough for it, or at least he agreed with what his friends said. Patrolling was for brave people who could catch the occasional thieves or robbers that tried their luck. But then he thought of his little Merry sleeping soundly at home and knew that the night job was a must-have to keep him and his child off the streets of the big, dangerous city.

To stop himself from freezing on the chilly August night, Usopp decided to jog to work. He realized, as he weaved quickly through the streets, that his jacket had gotten thin over the seven years he had had it. _Maybe it's time to get a new one_, he thought to himself, slowing to a walk as the big bank came into view. But where would the money come from? Food? Rent? Merry's merriment? Usopp brushed the thought of a new jacket away; there was no money for such ideas.

He soon made it to the back of the building by going through a small alleyway. A light shone white above the black, metal door, making it seem like a shady place, even at nine-thirty. Usopp still hadn't fully gotten rid of his shivers, but fumbled in his jacket pocket for the key to open the door to the bank's security room anyway. When he found his key ring, he brought it up to the lock and chose a silver key, sticking it in and hoping the door would open to let him sit in the warm room with the heat on. Maybe today was a better day to watch the monitors than patrol.

This first key went in, but it wouldn't turn the lock. Usopp quickly brought it out and tried the next silver key. This key wouldn't even go halfway. He knew it was a silver key that would open the door, but neither of the first two had worked and there was only one more silver key left. Usopp jammed his last hope and sweat dropped to himself. It didn't work either. Then he remembered his partner on the Wednesday-Thursday shift! Maybe Zoro was inside?

Banging on the cold door, Usopp yelled to a person who might be inside the security room, "Oi, Zoro! You in there? Oi! If you are, let me in!" Pounding on the door like a maniac for many minutes, Usopp finally heard the sound of footsteps from the other side of the door. The door handle jiggled, but didn't open as he watched. Then a voice from inside the building was heard – and it was annoyed.

"Why wont the door open? I know I locked it, but why wont it unlock?" Usopp grinned sheepishly as he yanked at the key stuck in the keyhole and jamming the lock. As soon as he was able to get the key out, the door slammed him in the nose, since Usopp's nose is especially abnormally long.

Rubbing at his comically bent facial feature, an angry looking man with green hair and three gold teardrop earrings on his left ear said dumbly, "Oh, Usopp, you're late."

"Zoro!" Usopp replied angrily, "Why didn't you open the door before now? I tried three keys and they all didn't work, but you should have heard me before now!"

Zoro gave Usopp a "You're stupid" look and told him in a blunt voice, "I was sleeping." Usopp sweat dropped as his night watch partner gave a large yawn and receded back inside the building, leaving the door to swing closed. Grabbing the door before he was locked out again, Usopp stepped in the security room and was met by warmth – and darkness.

"Zoro, why aren't the lights on?"

"Because, I couldn't find the light switch." No matter how Usopp looked at the situation, how hard was it to find a light switch right next to the door on the left after having found it around two hundred times before? Zoro was known to have a terrible sense of direction, but now a sense of memory too? Usopp hoped not. Turning on the lights quickly and easily, he found Zoro sitting in a swivel chair with three swords at his side. To Usopp's dismay, the green haired man was… sleeping.

_How does this guy do it?_ Usopp took off his jacket and draped it on the chair next to Zoro, sitting down in it himself. He sighed as he watched some of the monitors as they showed video of no one breaking in, sneaking in, or even walking past the window of the Grand City Bank. Usopp was so bored, he kicked at Zoro's chair, making the guy snort in his sleep and slump lower in his seat.

As he had nothing better to do, Usopp's mind wandered to the thought of Merry and the tomorrow that already was today according to the clocks on the monitors. Merry had gone to preschool, so it wasn't as if the first day of kindergarten would be much different, but Merry was a quiet and shy boy at school. Unsocial, Merry would eat snack alone or play in a corner of the classroom alone. The teachers tried to get him to participate in group activities and games, but he'd always go back to himself when it was over.

Usopp's eyelids were drooping as he lazily turned his head to look at his sleeping partner. He became sleepy himself as the lights above his head flickered in a way that tauntingly told him it was the perfect time to get some shuteye. Getting out of his chair, Usopp pulled his jacket off the back of it and lay it down on the ground for a pillow. He curled up like a cat and slept without dreams, wishing for the morning to come when he could take Merry to his first day of school.

------------------ =_=

KittyLuffy: I promise the next chapter will be better! I'm already working on it! Please review, it makes me happy \(0_0)/ Maybe if Nami isn't here, I can free myse-  
Nami: Don't even try! I've brought someone to help me. Ta-da!  
KittyLuffy: GASP!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, if I did, that might be fun.

Summary of Chapter 3: What happens when Nami and Merry wake up late for the first day of school?

KittyLuffy: Hello, I had a day off today.  
Nami: Why does anyone care?  
KittyLuffy: I was able to finish this third chapter because of it.  
Nami: I see, it does matter then.  
KittyLuffy: Right? Right? Well, I tried to make this one randomly funny and not boring. I think I did a good job. *Smiles "Luffy Style"*  
Nami: Well, we'll see. Right Sanji?  
Sanji: Right Nami-swaaa~n!  
KittyLuffy: I'm so excited Sanji's here!  
Sanji: I'm so happy I'm married to Nami-swan! Thank you KittyLu-  
Nami: *Beats up both Sanji and KittyLuffy*  
KittyLuffy: E-Enjoy... *faints*

Chapter 3. Morning Wake Up Fiasco

"No way! This clock has gotta be lying to me!" Merry awoke to the sounds made by a shrieking Nami. Hopping out of bed, the boy ran to see what possibly could be wrong. Had she spilled coffee on herself again? Or had she tried turning on the toaster and the hall light at the same time, making the microwave start heating nothing for three minutes? As he stood in the hall listening to the distressed adult, he rubbed his eyes, and mumbled, "Whatsza mattr?"

Nami was gaping at the small digital clock on the microwave, horrified at the numbers she saw. In a glowing green, the numbers read eight, one, and seven in that order. It was 8:17!! In a trembling voice, Nami whimpered, "And it starts at eight-thirty…"

Merry realized the definite problem and ran back into his room, throwing off his pajama shirt as he went. Grabbing a red and grey striped shirt, he quickly put it over his head. To his dismay, the shirt had shrunken in the wash and he couldn't get his head through. Crashing into a wall on his way to Nami, Merry fell on the carpet with a thud.

After hearing the crash, Nami rushed into Merry's room and found the boy in a hilarious position on the floor. Blinded and arms flailing in the armholes of the too-small shirt, Merry was a comical sight on the carpet. Helping the kid, with a stifled giggle, Merry was soon sitting upright and his head popped through the shirt's opening a moment later. With one problem solved, the bigger, much bigger, problem was to be faced.

"Merry, I'm so sorry!" Nami said, hugging the boy tightly, "I forgot to set an alarm!"

"Don't worry," Merry answered, patting the woman on the back, "If I just get dressed, we can leave and still be on time."

"No," Nami said with a decisiveness that Merry had a feeling he might like at a time other than now. "No," she repeated with a clenched fist, "You still need breakfast and a lunch and to wash your face and…" Her fist started to shake as she added up everything Merry needed for his first day of Kindergarten. She decided to just hug poor Merry and apologize over and over again until he finally got up and walked her out of the room, closing the door so he could finish changing.

When he stepped back out into the hall, Nami was shutting the fridge and putting a banana into a paper bag she was holding. Skipping going to the bathroom for anything, Merry went to the front door to grab his new backpack his daddy had bought for him. Nami held out the lunch she had quickly prepared and Merry stuffed it into his backpack and zipped the bag up.

Nami sighed happily and just before Merry's small hand reached the doorknob, she clapped her hands together and said, "Now to make breakfast."

"I don't need breakfast."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I'm fine; can we just go to the car?"

"No, you need to have a healthy and nutritious meal to start off your first day of school."

"Nami, it's already eight-twenty-six."

"I can still make you an egg! Merry?" Merry was putting on his tennis shoes and getting ready to leave the apartment room. Before he opened the door, he turned back to Nami.

"If I run, I think I can make it to school on my own. I don't need your car." Nami was stunned and then became flustered.

"Merry, the school is at least half an hour away by walking!"

"Well, I'll still get to the school faster than if you make me eat brea-"

"Fine! To the car!" Nami grabbed Merry and carried him all the way out to the car until she threw him in. "We can still make it if I speed," Nami said after looking at the car clock.

"N-Nami, please don't speed."

"I was kidding. Only if I have to."

"No, please not at all."

"Well…"

"No."

"Merry, you're a good kid."

"Huh?"

"Well, you know how to make people believe in you…"

"Ah, Nami! Don't start crying while driving!"

"I'm fine, don't worry. I just can't understand how five-year-olds can be so mature and heroic at times like these."

"What? Ah, we just swerved…"

"Oh, Merry."

"Please Nami, we're going to have to-" They passed where they were supposed to turn. "Nami, go back, go back!"

"I'm sorry, Merry, I didn't mean to forget where we were going. And that sign says no U-turns allowed!"

"We still have time right?"

"Ah! We have one minute! Here we go Merry!"

"I said please don't speed!"

Somehow, the car did an illegal U-turn without getting caught. Nami also sped through two red lights without getting caught. She also was going sixty miles an hour in a five miles per hour zone without getting caught. She slammed on the breaks as soon as the school came into view, making Merry jerk forward in his seat – since he was wearing a seat belt, he didn't go flying. The clock struck eight-thirty.

Merry opened the door of the car as it skidded to a halt in front of the many buildings of the school complex. But which room was he supposed to go to?

"Nami? Where I supposed to go?"

"Huh? You mean Usopp, uh, your dad didn't tell you?"

"No?" Nami unbuckled her seat belt and got out of the car, leaving the motor running.

"C'mon Merry, to the office!"

"Do you know where the office is?"

"Somewhere in the front of the school!"

"That doesn't-"

"I'll find it!" The two sprinted to the school gates and through them to the main building. They opened the first door they saw and it ended up being where they ad wanted to go. "Lucky!" Nami said with a grin as she crashed into the front desk.

"May I help you?" said a blonde haired woman in wire-rimmed glasses typing on a computer on top of the desk Nami, followed by Merry, had crashed into.

"I need to know what room Merry is supposed to be in right now."

"Merry?" The woman smiled and flipped her hair as she turned her head away from Nami to scrutinize the boy who had fallen to the floor after crashing into the desk. "What a funny name for a boy."

"You wanna say anything more?" Nami's aura was aflame with annoyance and anger, since this wasn't the first time Merry's name had been pointed out as somewhat strange.

"Well, when I was putting his name into the computer, I thought it would be a cute girl." Nami bristled. "I guess I'll have to change the gender on his file…"

"You mean you actually put on whatever files you have that he's a girl?!"

"What age is Merry?" Asked the woman, changing the subject. _I'm not going to like this woman, am I, _Nami thought.

"He's five, going into Kindergarten."

"Okay…" The woman typed on her computer until the information she needed popped up on the screen. "Merry is in Ms. Tashigi's class."

"What room?"

"Room five in the left wing of the school."

Nami picked Merry up and was about to leave, but turned around and said, "Thanks… Ms. Kalifa." The woman, who was pointing at her desk nametag, smiled.

"Don't mention it." Nami opened the door and left the building, an annoyance mark on her forehead. _I really don't like her!_

"Nami?"

"What, Merry?"

"We're early."

"Huh?"

"Did you set the car clock's time by the one on our microwave?"

"Yeah, about three months ago."

"Well, it's twenty minutes off."

"What?"

"It's only eight-twelve." The two who had come early noticed that cars were just starting to pull up around the school. Nami trembled in anger and all the teachers in their classrooms heard her yell.

"That clock WAS lying to me!!!!"

* * *

Nami: I liked this chapter! I might drive recklessly if I knew what a car was.  
Sanji: I wasn't in this. Maybe I'll come in soon if I stay here. I also wonder what a car is, Nami-san.  
Nami: Since I knocked KittyLuffy out, I'll say that anyone reading this should Review.  
Sanji: And I'll say keep reading!  
KittyLuffy: *while passed out* I'll... putupthenext chuptur... sune...


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, I like reading what others come up with.

Summary of Chapter 4: Usopp woke up and has to orient himself to what is happening. When he gets home, what doesn't await him and what does?

KittyLuffy: I blame Nami for the chapter being later than I wanted.  
Nami: Why me?! *makes an angry face*  
KittyLuffy: You made me pass out and I wasn't able to write anything...  
Nami: Do you wanna black out again?! *Gets ready to kick KittyLuffy*  
Sanji: Nami-swan, don't kick poor KittyLuffy-chan! *Restrains Nami*  
KittyLuffy: Yeah, you've already have me tied up. Anyways, a little paragraph in this chapter is going to hopefully answer **The Sacred and Profane**'s Chapter 2 review question. 0_0  
Nami: Also, I forgot why I tied you up and you've reminded me.  
Sanji: Why did you tie her up?  
Nami: Now tell me, KittyLuffy, where is One Piece?  
KittyLuffy: Rats, she remembered! Please don't stop reading if this chapter gets too depressing. Don't worry. Things are just more dramatic if they're depressing and this is a dramatic chapter. *receives a kick to head*

Chapter 4. A Real Wake Up Call

"Oi, Usopp. Wake up."

"Hmmm?" Usopp felt a light kick from a heavy boot hit his nose. Usopp opened his eyes to see the always-scary face of Zoro staring down at him. His first thought was "Danger!" Rolling away, careful of his long nose, Usopp moved across the security room carpet.

"Do you know what time it is?" Zoro asked in a serious manner Usopp didn't like at all. Zoro leaned against the counter in front of the monitors as Usopp tried to figure out what exactly was happening.

It was the day after a security guard night shift. Maybe Friday? No, no, it was Thursday. And it was morning?

"Is it morning?" Usopp groaned.

"Yeah, nine-something," Zoro answered in a grumble, yawning loudly and covering his mouth with a lazy hand. Usopp added it to his mental list.

It was the day after a security guard night shift. It was Thursday. And it was nine-something in the morning.

"I'm so happy I took the day off," Usopp said with a careless air, sprawling on the carpet, "and that no one kicked us out. That was probably the best sleep I've had in years."

"The door has been locked, so they probably did try."

"What do you mean?" asked a confused Usopp.

"Our shift ends at six, not nine. They probably knocked and yelled and gave up. We're the only ones who have the keys to this room, along with the other four guards for Friday-Saturday-Sunday and Monday-Tuesday shifts."

"It must suck to have the three day shift."

"Yeah, you miss all the good days of the week: the weekend." The two men chuckled before Zoro remembered something. "Usopp, didn't your kid have something important today?"

It was the day after a security guard night shift. It was Thursday. It was nine-something in the morning. And he had taken the day off to take Merry somewhere.

"Somewhere?" Usopp asked himself, sitting up to lean against the closest wall.

"You kept talking about it all last week," Zoro continued, "It was something about your kid going somewhere next week, which is now this week, and – "

It was the day after a security guard night shift. It was Thursday. It was nine-something in the morning. And he had taken the day off to take Merry to his first day of school.

"Oh my god! Today is Merry's first day of school!" Usopp yelled, jumping up, now wide-awake.

"Really?"

"Yeah, it started at eight-thirty."

"It's nine-something."

"I know, I know!" Usopp couldn't believe it. His kid would be late on the first day of school! "That clock you read was wrong," Usopp tried for an excuse.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's right." Gritting his teeth, Usopp walked across the room to grab his coat, which was laying in a heap on the ground. Then he looked angrily at Zoro. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Well," Zoro said slowly, folding his arms over his chest, "I've been sleeping until now, just like you." In an accusing tone, Zoro also added, "This is the first time you've ever fallen asleep. You're usually the one who wakes _me_ up – at six."

"R-right," Usopp said, almost dropping his jacket in fright of the terrifying face his partner was making. It was obvious why Zoro had been chosen for a security guard job. He looked really fearsome. Also, his huge muscles were visible from under the short sleeve uniform, showing any robber that they probably would die if Zoro caught them. Maybe Zoro didn't have a good sense of direction and always fell asleep, but no child wants to go near a house with a scary bulldog, even if it is on a leash. Usopp started for the door, and then decided to ask for a possible ride. "Zoro, you gotta a car?"

"Yeah? Why?"

"Can you drive me to my apartment?"

"Sure. I can do that. I don't have work until two." Usopp grinned; things were looking a little better. The two walked to Zoro's car and quickly took their seats.

_Merry_, Usopp thought to himself, _I'm so sorry, but I'm coming!_

The first thing Usopp got when he walked through the door of his apartment room was a fist to the face. The attacker was a tearful Nami, who looked both angry and distressed.

"Where have you been?!" Nami screamed at the guy who had fallen to the floor and was rubbing his bent nose. "Do you know what time it is?"

"I-I fell asleep at work." Usopp looked to Merry's door and asked, "Is he ready to go?"

"I was so stressed, since your clock was wrong, that I took him to school without a thought about you." Usopp and Nami avoided each other's eyes. Usopp got up and walked to the tissue box on the side table next to the couch; his nose had started bleeding. There was an awkward silence until Nami whispered, "Some parent you are."

Usopp dropped the tissue and whipped around to glare at the shaking Nami. "I do the best I can!" he yelled, feeling on the verge of tears himself.

"You always look to the future, the present is never on your mind!" Nami countered.

"Well, if I don't look to the future, what would have happened?"

Nami, tears streaming down her cheeks, stomped the ground with her heeled foot. "I don't know! But what do you think Merry believes about his dad? He looks up to you so much, but all you're giving him to look at is your hand covering his eyes."

"If he knows we're hard-pressed, how do you think he'll feel? You know as well as I do that he's a kid smart beyond his age. Do you think he'd feel sad or actually try to do something about it? I don't want him to stop eating or something!"

Nami covered her face with her hands. She had never wanted children, but at this rate, her motherly sense came out of her for Merry's sake, as if he was her little boy. She wanted the best for him, but knew that getting too involved would lead to something going out of hand, as it was now.

"You know," Usopp said with a shaking voice, "I did live in the present when I was younger."

"And how did that work out?" Nami said through her hands in a flat tone.

"That's how I got Merry."

The two were done fighting and both sat on the couch, feeling sad for the other. Nami had sobbing spasms and Usopp tried to comfort her, letting his bloody nose mix with snot from his own crying. Usopp sat silently as Nami mumbled about how she was too attached to poor Merry, who was the strongest-willed kid she had ever met.

Then, the door to the apartment slammed open and a huffing and puffing blonde-haired man ran in. With a spiraling eyebrow above his visible right eye in a dramatically unhappy curve, the man cried out, "Nami-swaaaaaaan! It's terrible!"

* * *

Nami: *Sobbing* Usopp is a terrible father! How could he miss... sob... Merry's first day of school? Well... sniffle... at least I was there for Merry.  
Sanji: Don't cry, Nami-san! (Yay! I get to be in this chapter!) It'll be alright Nami-swan.  
KittyLuffy: It is sad. Sniff... I can't believe I wrote that! But it'll lighten up, it will!  
Nami and Sanji: *dead serious* I hope it will.  
KittyLuffy: Don't want to ask about One Piece now, right?  
Nami: DON"T BRING THAT UP! Waaaaaah, Merryyyyyyyyy!  
KittyLuffy: I have a week off of school, so I'll get Merry's first half of the first day of school done really soon! Review and stick around!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, but I am guessing favorite colors and foods.

Summary of Chapter 5: Merry's first hour of class is chaos and fun with old friends and new ones. Plus, one crazy teacher...

KittyLuffy: *depressed* Sigh...  
Nami: Not so soon as you were saying, huh?  
KittyLuffy: Happy late Thanksgiving and Black Friday!  
Nami: She's avoiding the question!  
Sanji: Nami-swan, let KittyLuffy-chan be. She had to go to her grandma's house for Thanksgiving.  
KittyLuffy: *smiles and waves fingers evilly* And because of that, I'm free from those ropes!  
Nami: But that didn't stop you from watching anime instead of writing the next chapter!  
Sanji: But this chapter is longer than the others... *notices a depressed KittyLuffy*  
KittyLuffy: It was supposed to be the first half of his day... it ended up being the first hour. Really fun to write, but what now? *stress lines appear*  
Nami and Sanji: Please enjoy as we do too!

Chapter 5. Twenty Kids and a Teleporting Teacher

Merry, hand in hand with Nami, walked into the classroom to find himself a seat in the first row, left corner of the classroom. Every seat had a nametag clearly printed with the name of each student. As Merry was looking for his desk, he saw some interesting names. Chip was next ho him, Medaka was behind whoever Chip was, and Chimney was behind him. Merry imagined a potato chip and a chimney to a house walking into the classroom. He smiled to himself before Nami let go of his hand.

"Merry," Nami said with a smile, "now that you've found your seat, and you aren't late to class, I'm gonna go home now, okay?" Merry nodded, fingering at his backpack as he wondered where he was supposed to put it.

"I'll be here to pick you up at…" Nami paused. Navigating through her pocket schedule, she finished with, "At one-thirty." Merry nodded again, choosing to leave his backpack on for the moment. "When I was in kindergarten, I had lots of fun," Nami continued; her conversation was one-sided. "We read books and did lots of crafts, even played instruments." Looking at Merry out of the corner of her eye, she saw he wasn't listening. Instead he was staring at the nametag he had. For boys, it was blue with airplanes and baseballs. For girls, it was pink with flowers and ribbons. Nami screamed silently in her head and her jaw dropped in terror as she saw Merry's nametag was a – girl's one.

"It's pink," Merry murmured to himself, which Nami heard. Zooming through all the rows of desks in the blink of an eye, Nami looked for a possible other Merry, but alas, Merry was the only Merry in the class. Tired from her comedy run, Nami stopped to stand where she had been before, only now her hands were on her knees and she was out of breath.

"Merry," Nami huffed at the little boy in front of her, making him look up, "I will make that secretary pay dearly for this!" She scurried to the door of the classroom and then turned around and yelled a bit too loudly, "I will avenge you, Merry!" and left as Merry and his teacher watched on.

"My, what an exciting mother you have," said a mid-sized woman with dark blue short hair and pink, plastic rimmed glasses. Merry jumped as he realized a woman was standing next to him where there had been no one before. She looked down at him and smiled widely, since her student seemed to be a little scared. "Hello," the woman said, offering a smile and a hand, "My name is Ms. Tashigi. What's your name?"

"M-Merry," Merry answered shakily, taking her hand and getting a hearty shake. Then the shaking abruptly stopped and the lady was looking at his nametag.

With a smile starting to twitch, Ms. Tashigi asked, "Um… Merry, you say?"

"Yes, Merry."

"Like, as in merry? Like happy?"

"Yeah, that's how my daddy says he spells it."

"Like this nametag?" Ms. Tashigi pointed to the pink nametag with the letters M, E, two Rs, and Y spelled out in black pen in that order. Merry nodded and wondered where this lady was going with the questions.

"AHHHHH! I was told it would be a cute little girl!" Ms. Tashigi went crazy. As some new students with their parents entered the room, they saw the woman who was probably the teacher dash to her desk and grab a blank blue nametag from a drawer. In a thick black marker, the letters M, E, two Rs, and Y were written hurriedly in that order. From the top of the desk, Ms. Tashigi snatched a roll of tape and then was at Merry's desk again. Quickly ripping off the pink nametag, the lady positioned the new one in the same place and taped the top and bottom of the paper to the child's desk.

Ms. Tashigi sighed in relief, gazing at her work. Merry, whose eyes were about ready to bulge out of his head from fright and amazement, was silent. Ms. Tashigi crouched next to the boy and asked, "Like this nametag?"

"It's blue," Merry said quietly, receiving happy beams radiating from a relaxing Ms. Tashigi.

"Yup, it's blue."

"Yeah…"

"Well, of course! Are you two colorblind or somethin'?" The two broke away from their staring and looked at the newcomer.

"Ah, Pepper." Merry said in a flat voice of recognition.

"And Onion," Onion added from behind Pepper's right shoulder.

"And Carrot," Carrot voiced from behind Pepper's left shoulder. Then the three boys named after foods rushed at Merry for a hug, making him stumble backwards into his new desk. "Your dad said we should take care of you," Carrot said with a grin, "since you never seem to do anythi –"

"Well, this is great," Ms. Tashigi interrupted, feeling something bad coming up in Carrot's words, "you know Merry?"

"Know Merry?" Onion scoffed, pushing up his box frame glasses, "We've been his best friends since our first year of preschool together!"

"That was last year," Merry informed Ms. Tashigi, "and from what I remember, they liked to drag me into whatever they were doing."

"Well," Pepper said, scratching at his dark green, bell pepper shaped hair, "the Three Foodketeers need a fourth person named Merry!" The three boys, presumably the Foodketeers, laughed at their friend's joke and then went to go search for their seats.

Merry decided it was probably time to sit down. He turned to ask Ms. Tashigi if she knew where he should put his backpack, but found she had teleported herself to the front door, greeting parents and their kids. Merry shook his head from such thoughts; only firemen, according to his daddy, could teleport. He chose to stand a little longer so he wouldn't have to turn around in his seat to see the other students in his class.

There was a girl with light purple hair and a frilly pink dress, being dropped off by a woman who was probably her older sister. With a wide smile, a girl with long greenish-yellow hair came in with a stuffed animal blue rabbit, waving good-bye to a rather chubby older woman who looked very similar in smile and hair color. And then a pair of sisters and brothers appeared.

"Chip," said the older brother to the younger, "you be good in class, 'kay?"

"Okay, Dip," Chip responded with a nod.

"Lina," said the older sister to the younger, "don't come running and crying to me if something goes wrong."

"Don't worry, Sayo," Lina answered with a smile, "I can protect myself, and you too if I have to!"

"We'll be in the second grade hall," Sayo said, taking Dip's hand, "so if you want to find us. Mom will pick you both up at one-thirty, okay Lina?" The two younger children nodded and waved as their siblings left.

_I wonder what it's like to have an older brother_, Merry thought, watching the scene intensely. Then the bell rang and parents said their last good-byes and the first day of school started for the twenty children.

"Hello," Ms. Tashigi said, standing at the front of the room with a smile on her face, "I'm Ms. Tashigi. I'll be your kindergarten teacher this year!" Merry almost dropped his backpack. She, the one who could teleport (or so it seemed) and wore a huge smile (a little too wide), was going to be his teacher?! "Ah, Merry," Ms. Tashigi observed the startled look on her student's face, "I forgot to tell you, huh?" He nodded, lightly setting his backpack on the floor next to his desk and sitting down.

"Merry?" a person in the back of the room burst out. Merry felt a chill and didn't dare turn around. That voice from his preschool, that voice that had so much meaning. Then the mystery person smacked a hand on his desk. She had gotten out of her seat from the right, back corner to come and greet him. Didn't she know you were supposed to sit in your seat unless your teacher told you to get up in grade school? "Merry…" an angry tone breathed at the side of his head, "why don't you say hello to me?"

"Hello. Hello… Apis." A slap on the back and a giggle came from the girl named Apis.

"Merry, you've always been like this! You never say hi to me unless I ask!"

"Well, I guess so."

"You gonna be any different from preschool?"

"Apparently you aren't gonna be."

"What was that?"

"Go sit down. Didn't your parents tell you that you stay put in grade school?"

"Oh, come on, Merry, don't be so drab!"

"Drab?"

"Yeah, my mom said it when she was choosing out new curtains for our house! It means dull and… something else boring."

"YOU!" Both children jumped as Ms. Tashigi pointed a finger at them, or just Apis. "How DARE YOU put down your fellow student! I will have no bad mouthing in my classroom."

"Hmph," Apis huffed defiantly, hands on her hips, "you got laws?"

"Yeah," Ms. Tashigi said with a glint in her eyes, which were dark brown behind her glasses, "Right here, Missy!" The teacher took out a poster from behind her back where one hadn't been before. With a flourish, she pointed to rule number two: Do not badmouth your fellow students.

Merry sweat dropped as Apis cried comically and yelled in a distressed voice, "NOOOOOO! That's unfair! You're the teacher!" The pointing finger went all over the page of rules. Rule three: Don't leave your seat unless Ms. Tashigi tells you to. Rule four: No whining. Rule five: Raise your hand if you wish to speak. Rule seven: Have a quiet voice in the classroom. The class watched as their classmate was able to get through breaking all the rules, including rule number one…

"Rule number one, in my book," Ms. Tashigi pointed, "is to always have fun in the classroom!"

"This isn't any fun!" Apis screamed.

"Please," the girl with the light purple hair said, standing on her desk as Apis was doing on Merry's desk, "stop fighting." Both heads turned to the front, right of the room. Ms. Tashigi turned to point at rule fourteen: Don't stand on the chairs or desks.

"Yeah," Apis said, pointing at the other girl, "She's breaking the rules too!" The teacher turned back and her finger was at rule seven again.

"My name is Lil, thank you," the girl named Lil commented, annoyed at being a "she". "Anyone can be a 'she', so I'm Lil."

"Okay, whatever," Apis shrugged, getting off of Merry's desk to go back to her seat in the back, right corner of the room. Ms. Tashigi watched her student closely and made sure Apis got to her desk and sat down in her chair. Then she sighed with relief and offered to her class the option of a name game or just going around the room and saying names. Almost all chose the name game, except for Merry and a kid with dark green hair and a pair of small beady eyes that looked similar to Usopp's.

So the name game was to throw a stuffed duck around the room and when you had this bird, you said your name, favorite color, and favorite food.

"This is Carue everyone and he's going to start the game," Ms. Tashigi said, holding up the duck that wore a hat and goggles. "Hello," the teacher voiced for the bird, "I'm Carue and my favorite color is blue. My favorite food is fish. Here I come to fly over to Lil!" The plushie was tossed over to Lil and landed on her desk.

"I'm Lil. My favorite color is pink, purple, or both. My favorite food is the cookies my sister makes if she has time." Carue was passed to Chip, who caught the duck with surprise.

"I-I'm Chip and my favorite color is brown and my favorite food is potatoes."

"Hello, I'm Tajio. My favorite color is navy blue and my favorite food has gotta be curry."

"I'm Aisa and I love light red. My favorite food is pumpkin."

"I'm Pepper and I gotta ask, how is there a light red?"

"Yeah, isn't there only red?"

"Hey Onion, I'm talking here! See, I got Carue!"

"Well, there may be red, but there is dark red too. Why can't I like light red?"

"Because it doesn't exist!"

"Yeah, what Carrot said; it doesn't exist."

"Yeah it does!"

"Nah-uh!"

"Yuh-huh!"

"Nah-uh!"

"Yuh-huh!"

"Nah-uh!"

"Yuh-huh!"

"Please STOP!" Ms. Tashigi yelled at the four fighting, grabbing Carue from Pepper. "Here, Merry, why don't you go next?"

"O-okay." Merry caught Carue and sat the bird on his desk. "My name is Merry," Merry murmured to the duck, "my favorite color is… yellow and food would be… pike. My daddy likes both of them very much, so I do too."

"Merry, huh?" Merry turned around and faced a girl that had no resemblance of an actual house chimney. Merry remembered seeing this girl walk in, but not sit down. Was his whole class going to be full of teleporters (No, he's just a little sleepy)? The girl with the yellow-green hair gave him a wide grin and held out her stuffed animal. "Nice to meet you, Merry," said Chimney. A blue rabbit thing, with a grin just as big as its owner, waved to Merry as Chimney moved its plush paw.

"Hello, Chimney," Merry said, grabbing Carue off his desk and moving its wing to greet the girl.

"How did you know my name was Chimney? You telepathic maybe?"

"No. I just read your nametag."

"You can read?"

"Y-yes?"

"Wow! Ms. Tashigig had to show me to my desk."

"Tashigi?" Merry corrected, wondering when the two had ever passed in front of him without him realizing they were there.

"Yeah, Tasheg-whatever! You're really smart, Merli!" Merry sweat dropped as the Chimney grinned. But then the girl's eyebrows turned to show a sad pair of eyes, but still the smile. "You said your dad liked yellow and pike, right?"

"Yeah," Merry answered, frowning at seeing his classmate unhappy.

"But what do you like?"

"I like what my dad likes."

"No! You must like something other than yellow and pike. You're wearing red!" Before Merry could return a comment, there was an interruption.

"Pass the duck, Merry," Apis called from the opposite corner of the room, "if you're not gonna say anything!"

"He did," Chimney yelled back.

"He did not! I didn't hear him!"

"He did too! Right, Chup?"

"Huh?" Chip responded correctly, averting his head from watching two girls yell at each other. "I didn't hear him."

"See, he didn't say anything!"

"He did too!"

Merry listened to the three fights going around the room. There was Ms. Tashigi fighting with the Foodketeers and Aisa, Lil and another girl were fighting over Lil's having said two colors instead of one, and Apis and Chimney fighting over if he had said anything or not. Holding Carue tightly, Merry closed his eyes and smiled into the duck covering his face. Maybe school would be fun. Maybe he should try to be more outgoing like the rest of the kids.

"MERRY!" Merry opened his eyes when he heard Apis scream his name. "Say your name or pass the duck!"

Merry stood up and held Carue's wings outstretched so it looked like the bird was flying. The whole class stopped what they were doing and looked at him.

"I'm Merry and my favorite color and food are ocean blue and my dad's friend Sanji's fried rice!"

* * *

KittyLuffy: Ah, what a great amount of research for this chapter.  
Nami: How cute. But how am I two places at once?  
KittyLuffy: Oops! Did I forget to say that this takes place at about 8:20am?  
Nami and Sanji: Yeah...  
KittyLuffy: Please review and I have no clue what I'm doing for the next chapter... Sanji or more Merry?


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. I don't own a one piece bathing suit either...

Summary of Chapter 6: Sanji has arrived to save Nami! But who needs saving after some big news?

KittyLuffy: Ah, a year and some months have gone by... but I'm back to this story.  
Nami: How late can you be?  
KittyLuffy: It's my computer's fault. Then my fault. Then my writer's block's fault!  
Sanji: But you still care for your first fic. That's why I'm glad you're back, KittyLuffy-chan.  
Nami: True, but still! Apologize to everyone who likes this story!  
KittyLuffy: *bows* I'm sorry. Forgive me? Read on?  
Nami: That'll do.  
Sanji: Now, onto the long-awaited Chapter 6!

Chapter 6. When a Food Joint Goes to the Sea

"Sanji," Nami sniffed, "what's wrong?"

Sanji stared at the orange-haired woman who was crying her eyes out. Then, he moved his gaze to the guy with a bloody nose. Usopp was the only person in the room to have caused such Nami such distress. But before a brawl, help the lady.

"Forget about me, Nami-swan," Sanji cooed, zooming over to her side, "but what happened to you?" Kneeling in front of Nami, he brought out a white handkerchief and used it to dab at his wife's beautiful face. The spiral on his eyebrow went up and the rest went down, resulting in an angry glare at Usopp. "What did you do to Nami-san?"

"N-nothing," Usopp mumbled, dumbly resting his eyes on the carpet and wiping at his nose. Sanji, a hero to all women, could not believe that Usopp hadn't done anything.

"Absolutely nothing?"

"Sanji, he didn't do anything seriously wrong."

"Hai, Nami-swaaaan!" Sanji's eye turned into a heart shape as he swooned over his wife. With realization, he stopped and asked, "'Seriously wrong?'"

Scrutinizing Usopp, without the heart, the blonde wondered how nothing was serious if the notorious liar's nose was bleeding. Knowing Nami, Sanji could postulate that she had punched Usopp, opposed to slamming the door on his face or something accidental.

Nami tried to stop her trembling lip, but the quivering made her voice stutter. "Yeah, n-nothing m-much. He ju-just missed Merry's first Day OF SCHOOL!" Nami's words turned into a scream as she turned to slap Usopp, regaining her raging energy from earlier. Before she could hit the long nosed man, Sanji grabbed her fingers quickly to hold her back. Resting the clenched hand on her leg, the blonde watched his wife take a shaky breath.

"Now, now," Sanji murmured, patting the trembling fist as if that was the only way it would stay in her lap, "there's nothing to do about things that have passed. Usopp, apologize, you cad."

"Sorry, Nami. I didn't mean to miss Merry's first morning at elementary school. You know I wouldn't have missed it without… a good reason."

"I guess," Nami answered, staring at Usopp who was blinking ruefully back at her. The problem had been partially patched up, enough to last the rest of the morning. Regaining her composure, Nami decided to confront the new situation. "So, Sanji, what did you come barging into a tenant's room for?"

"Ah, right!" Sanji smacked his forehead, having forgotten what he was going to say as soon as he had entered the room.

It took him a while to bring the information back to the front of his mind. Clearing away the fog of "save Nami-swan", he found it. Remembering the news, Sanji gave Nami a puppy eye as he looked up at her. Since he was still kneeling, it hopefully would have even more of an effect.

"It's terrible, Nami-san. I lost my job."

Nami became stone in front of the two men. Her face turned gray and her mouth a thin line. She was frozen until Sanji reached up to touch her cheek.

"Nami-swan?"

"LOST YOUR JOB? YOU LOST MY INCOME? YOU LOST MY MONEY?"

This explosion was bigger than the first one of the day. The whole apartment seemed to shake in both fear and terror. A seriously angry Nami grabbed her husband by the throat and violently began to shake him, her eyes on fire with rage. "My cash," she moaned dramatically, "My MONEY!"

Usopp sweat-dropped at the sight, all the morning's bad things seemingly forgotten. When money came up in any conversation with Nami present, there would be a very good result or a very bad one, never anything in the middle.

Now, it was Usopp's turn to save Sanji from probable death. "Nami, it's his job, so why is it your money?" Nami, her glare burning brighter, turned to face Usopp, who squeaked in terror.

"I love money. He loves me. If he wants me to be happy, he gives me the money I deserve for putting up with himmmMMM!" With every syllable, she shook Sanji abusively as if he was an unbreakable rag doll. Rumbling through the held out "m", she joggled her husband twice as fast, her aura rising from her in a great eruption of fury. Then, she paused. With a sickly sweet look plastered on her visage, the ginger-haired woman asked Sanji, "You're kidding me, right, Sanji-kun?"

Sanji, whose eye was swirling as much as his eyebrow, put a thumb up and then flipped it down. "My sweet Mellorine," he wavered as she pulled him closer until they were nose to nose, "I did lose my job. I'm sorr-gah!" Nami kneed his gut before he could finish apologizing. He collapsed on the ground moaning in trivial pain as his wife finally let him go.

"How did you lose it?" Usopp asked, trying to avoid any more conflicts with cash. Nami looked about ready to do more than kill her husband.

"How? He probably got fired for multiple reasons! A! He smokes in the restaurant, no matter what section he's in: smoking or nonsmoking. B! He beats up customers HE doesn't like. C! He destroys property. D! He flirts with any girl he sees – even though he has me. E! He doesn't take tips from those stupid girls! And he only serves tables with women at them!" Nami kicked poor Sanji with every letter, and five extra times while going over reason E.

"He-hear me out," Sanji groaned from the ground, raising a hand as if that could stop the husband abuser.

"So, you can tell me which ones are true? If not all of them?"

"No-none of them."

"How not? You're the sous chef; you can't be fired without reason!"

"Well, the Baratie is moving to the sea."

"What?" Nami and Usopp asked in unison.

"The Baratie is going to be a boat on the sea," Sanji repeated, picking himself off the floor to sit down on the couch next to Nami.

Since the whole "beat up my husband" scene happened at least once a week, the blonde's wounds and bruises healed quickly. Except for his messed up hair and clothes, Sanji was almost perfectly fine and back to normal.

"The restaurant is finally going to where it was meant to be?" Usopp asked, remembering a conversation from a time in high school.

It was a talk sometime in the first month they had met. Usopp and Luffy had been sitting at the lunch table with their new blonde friend. It had been great fun back then – minus the tests and homework.

"Yeah, that was Zeff's main plan way back when we built the Baratie. To cook in a place that sailed the sea, and not floating in some dock. He finally has enough money to leave this crowded city and build the dream boat."

"Wasn't that your dream too? See the Baratie sailing the waves and cooking for all those people who… are starving and stuff?"

Sanji gave a small laugh as he gazed over at Usopp. True, in the easy preteen years, it had been exciting to imagine the Baratie as a seagoing restaurant. Now, it had been too long and everything too perfected for such a big change.

"I don't think it's possible to change locations so abruptly. We've had the Baratie here in Grand City for thirteen years. There has been good business, a little bad business, and a lot of regulars. But still, he wants to move. Nami-san, please forgive me for choosing you over your money."

Nami decided that there was nothing she could do. No matter how much she hid it, the orange-haired woman did love Sanji much more than money. She would never think of expressing her relief that her blonde husband had chosen not to sail the seas and leave her to watch the apartment building alone.

With a small smile on her lips, Nami gave Sanji a quick kiss before pushing him off the couch. "I haven't had anything to eat yet. Neither has Usopp."

"Hai, Nami-swan! Two breakfast specials."

"Oi, three. I know you better than that."

"Sorry Usopp, I have nothing for a long-nosed liar."

"Sanji-kun…"

"Breakfast for three, coming right up!"

* * *

Sanji: I... got abused so much. Yay for Love! *bounces around*  
Nami: It's one thing to be married to him. It's another to kiss him.  
KittyLuffy: You two make such a good couple.  
Nami: *blushing* Eh-hem! Please review as you will, readers. Happy _The Happy Ship_ has returned?


End file.
